Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Uche Okeke Turns 80

When we started planning a small intimate gathering for our father, artist, academic, scholar, poet, writer, cultural activist, environmentalist, son, brother, father, uncle, grandfather, and cousin - we never expected what we got in the end.

Sunday 28th April was a spectacular event imbued with the spirit of warmth, camaraderie, relaxation, enjoyment, joy and love. We couldn't have asked for a better day. Our father was surprised, overcome and overjoyed. People came from near and far, the children, grandchildren, closest friends, colleagues in the arts, students, mentees, executives from the Society of Nigerian Artists (SNA), which was founded by Uche Okeke.

It is extremely heart warming to see the number of people that love my father, we were overwhelmed by the support. My father has always been someone that believes in community and lives on the premise of  the power of many working towards a common goal for the betterment of the entire group. This is one of the things I learned from him. He is a good man, a great man, not a saint but a truly fantastic and extraordinary human being.

I am so happy that we were able to celebrate this truly significant milestone in a way that brought joy and happiness to my father's heart.

HAPPY 80TH DAD, YOU ROCK!!!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Life is what happens with or without your participation

I consider myself lucky to be surrounded by a wealth of love and support from friends, family even people I don't really know. Every time things get sticky I can count on close friends and family. As the popular saying goes "he who has people is extremely rich". You cannot buy that kind of support and I am very grateful that I have these people and I hope they know they can count on me no matter what.

I value my family and friends a lot because I think that we cannot exist without the people that love, encourage and support us throughout this journey called life. And as I learn more about life through my own experiences and that of others, I treasure these connections even more and I am thankful to God for blessing me with the people around me. My prayer is that they are all well-rewarded and blessed abundantly. I also learned this lesson largely from my father, in his quiet way he has cultivated really great friendships as well as professional relationships. And the goodwill he built is what has sustained us throughout the period of his ill-health. I am constantly surprised by the many generous gestures over the past couple of years.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Going it alone bravely...

My baby went to school alone for the first time without her sitter yesterday and today. And she was alright, I was a little worried about this transition but she keeps on surprising me. I think she was ready to assert her independence to explore her world and gain new experiences. All I can say is you go girl!! She has a wonderful personality, very endearing and engaging and she's a very likable individual. I am so very proud of her. We had a really nice day on Sunday with a long lost friend of mine that I had reunited with earlier in the year. It was very relaxed and chilled, he made a lovely meal with some meat on the braai stand and it was lekker.

This week though I feel like a mini-bus cab driver, now I get the whole driving kids around the entire day syndrome. It's exhausting and time-consuming but them kids gotta get to where they gotta get to right? Being a mom is not so bad, in fact it is an amazing experience and I find myself giving her a tight hug or raining kisses on her little face and she's so cute!! Okay maybe I am biased, she's my kid after all.

So another week slowly draws to an end and I am happy to say that due to the wise counsel of a friend, I apologized to my colleague and things are much better at work. I hated the tense atmosphere, I literally got a sick feeling in my stomach every time I drove into work. I would like to know what's going on in her mind though.

I attended this really interesting workshop on audience development today and I will be going back for the last session tomorrow. I am chuffed I was able to participate. Thanks Karen!!!

Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Good, the bad and the ugly...

This past week has been an emotional roller coaster both personally and at work. I had a very interesting encounter with my colleague at work and I was really amazed at what transpired and how both of us had totally opposing interpretations and perceptions of what happened. It also revealed a number of things to me that I was quite uncomfortable with. I really don't know what to think but it left me feeling off-kilter all week. Even though I was not attacked or hurt in anyway but the loss of my personal items and the feeling of being violated was still the same as anyone who had been hijacked or had a break in would have felt surprisingly.

But there were also highlights, my baby started going to the creche for a test run and she seems to be doing okay, so I'm really chuffed about that. She's grown so much in the past 4 weeks and it's so wonderful to see. I can't even imagine my life without her now. She brightens up my day. And I got accepted for the British Council workshops next week. I got a free holiday voucher as well, that is so cool. I am not one of those people that easily wins freebies so it's great to win something.

Today was a good day, my god daughter came with my good friend, her mum and my best friend came by as well. We had great fun, my baby certainly did. So another week passes by and it's all good.

Saturday, March 2, 2013

There is a first time for everything...

In the six years I have lived in SA, I haven't really experienced crime until today when my handbag was stolen from my trolley at the Jet store at the Cresta Mall. I was more shocked than anything else, I really had an outer body experience in which I saw myself going through the motions of stopping my bank cards and making sure the perpetrator was not busy trying to match my car keys to my car in the parking lot (though that would have been a mission considering that the parking lot is huge and it might look suspicious), another consideration is that the perp doesn't know how to drive. I suspect it's a woman I saw hanging around my trolley with my baby inside. I was so distracted with what I was trying to achieve that I completely forgot my bag was in the trolley until I got to the checkout counter. This is an experience I hope never to have again on any level. Imagine how people feel when their house is broken into when they are not there? It's even worse when you are there. One of our gallery artists had his house broken into a week ago on Friday, he was almost choked to death by a cloth they put over his face after roughing him up a bit. He is still traumatized and he was alone at home unfortunately. I consider myself lucky to have lived here so long and to only experience theft on a small scale now.

And my poor, poor child. It was just supposed to be 30 minutes of shopping max for our monthly groceries and to shop for some clothes for her (ergo Jet) and then this happened and we ended up spending 3 to 4 hours at the mall. She was tired, sleepy and very hungry as she only had oats for breakfast and some fruit and snacks I packed in her bag. But she took it like a trooper until it just became too much for the poor child. By the time we got home I could see that she was so happy to be back home. I was so surprised that she understood to some extent that my bag had been stolen at 2 and a half. She's so intuitive and a very smart girl. I am so proud of her and I love her to bits. We had our moments at the mall of course but I think she understands me on an emotional level. She's a delightful child to be around, I have such fun listening to her and having conversations with her. She definitely made the whole experience of the stolen bag not as major as it could have been for me because I had to focus on her more than on the unfortunate incident. Besides no one got hurt or killed so it's not the end of the world. I'm just upset about my car key, fairly new BB charger, spectacles and other little bits and pieces.

Ja ne, life happens... thank God for another day in which I lived, breathed and came out unscathed.

It is well....

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

First steps in the process...

Yesterday my little girl and I went to the Family Court on Market Street in the CBD to meet my social worker and get a court order for temporary safe care. My first steps to gaining legal custody of madam T. She's such a delight to be with, although I've gone through the full spectrum of emotions from happiness to despair but I have been assured that it comes with the territory so I feel much better.

I can't explain the feeling, it is extraordinary and an adventure. She's such an interesting character and she is her own person. Highly intuitive and sensitive to moods and emotions. I am falling more and more in love with her every day and I know as each day passes that I made the right decision even though it is a huge life changing event for me. I am learning new things everyday, most significantly I am learning things about myself I wasn't aware of before now.

I have strapped in my seat belt for the ride of my life!!

Monday, February 18, 2013

Two weeks and counting....

Amazing how quickly time passes. When I finally took the steps towards adopting I never knew what a whirl wind process it would become. I've been literally swept away by the tides of time. But in hindsight I think I would never have been prepared enough because nothing really prepares you for this experience.

I am going into my third week of having this beautiful little girl and it's a continuous journey of discovery for both of us. The first week was very stressful for me because I had hoped to get time off to bond with her. Everything has however worked itself out and she's gradually falling into the routine that we have now. It's so rewarding seeing her going on this journey of self-discovery, of experiencing an increasingly enlarging world, growing more confident and blossoming under the love and care. And her capacity to give love is amazing.

For me it's a huge adjustment. As a single person you never really think about how much being a parent changes your life. People say it all the time but when it's not really your lived experience it's not something you spend a lot of time thinking about. Speaking from my own very new and budding experience as a parent, it's so interesting and wonderful to have this little person trailing you all day and talking, talking, talking non-stop. It's also a bit too much!! I can't even go to the bathroom with her being hot on my heels!! Sometimes it makes me laugh so hard and then she laughs with me. And she has such a beautiful smile and a cute laugh and she's full of mischief. As she gets more secure the imp within is beginning to emerge and the "terrible twos" manifesting.

She's a riot and I love her to bits. We have very interesting conversations and she just laughs at me. I have always gotten on with children, they gravitate towards me naturally. I am also known to be stern but loving and gentle. And with my little one it's no different. She knows when I get serious and sometimes I speak to her as if she's 30 and not almost 3. But she's an old soul, wise beyond her years. She's a very special little lady. I'm learning a lot everyday, these two weeks has been a lesson in patience and perseverance but it's all worth it.

Let's see how the next 20 years unfolds, I can't wait to see what kind of woman I bring up. Exciting and daunting at the same time!! For some reason this child chose me and she's actually perfect for me. I planned to adopt a much younger child (at least that is what I had on paper, I really didn't have much experience to go on when I started the process of adoption) but here we are....

Sunday, February 10, 2013

We won!!!!!

Congratulations to our coach Stephen Keshi who has proven that  home-based, home-grown, internationally trained career footballer turned coach is the best thing for an African team. And for chrissakes just leave him to do his job without all the interference and politicking.

Well done to our mixed team of experienced players like Mikkel Obi (that solid mid-fielder), Emmanuel Emunike, who held down the fort while steering the less experienced players. Kudos to Victor Moses and Sunday Mba and the third striker, what fabulous play. You have all done Nigeria proud. This shows the level of homegrown talent we have if only youngsters can be given the opportunity.

Our country needs to build a culture of encouraging and supporting the youth by creating opportunities for them to excel.

Excellent job Super Eagles winners of the 2013 Orange AFRICAN CUP OF NATIONS!!

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Finally!!!

I picked up Thembi today with 3 of my best friends coming along to support me and welcome her home. It was a bit of an anti-climax, I was late, my friend got lost so an 11 o'clock pick-up sort of went into overtime. She was so cute, she just wanted to grab her bag and go. She was the first at the front door and stood there rattling the burgler proof gate. She's a decisive little girl, no procrastination there, she goes for what she wants.

I am in a daze quite frankly, it all seems so surreal. I've had a very stressful 3 weeks trying to get some kind of working leave from my office but the labour laws don't really favour adoptive parents very much so it's every man for himself and God for all. I'm getting there slowly but it's kind of a catch 22 situation, damned if I do, damned if I don't. It'll all work out I guess but frankly I don't need the extra stress.

I guess the whole uncertainty of the leave situation kinda overshadowed what should have been the most exciting and wonderful day of my life. That's life, it happens, deal with it.

It's been a long and exhausting day running after a toddler but it feels great. I celebrated that last day of my single-hood with a bottle of white wine and a lovely salad, just chilling. I thought that was appropriate since I was never really a party animal. Some friends invited me out on Friday night but I decided to pass.

Let's see how I grow as a mother, should be one hell of a ride!! Gosh!! I can't even believe I am someone's mother!! Holy shit!! Excuse my French.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

Another year, a Fresh Start

2013 has started off on high speed gear for me. My father turns 80 this year and it kind of crept up on me. I can't believe so much time has gone by. In the past 6 years, living away from Nigeria, the time spent with my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews is very precious. Once December rolls around, I eagerly get on that flight to Lagos.

2013 is a very special year for me, it's the year I become a mother. I am about to adopt the most beautiful little girl. She is a gift and a blessing and since March 31st, 2012 I have been on an incredible life-changing journey. The past year has been one of soul searching, inward reflection, hard lessons, wise counsel from some really wonderful people, and lots of encouragement and love from friends and strangers alike.

I am learning every day not to take myself too seriously. I have been very fortunate in my parents (my first and life long teachers), my wonderful sister, my brothers, my girlfriends, colleagues at work, my mentors, my male friends, my school mates, people I grew up with and my past relationships. My father set the example for me of what to look for in a man; qualities like kindness, compassion, friendship, empathy, wisdom, generosity, fairness, love, caring, intelligence, gentleness, open-mindedness, tolerance and respect. And I have been extremely lucky to have been in relationships with some very special men.

My father is a good person and I love him very much for everything he is to my mother, my siblings and myself. For teaching me to love beautiful things, for introducing me to classical music, opera, theater, dance and the visual arts. For teaching me tolerance, to embrace multiple views, to see the world not as I want to but as it is and to appreciate and accept the differences between myself and other people. To acknowledge diversity and see the value that our differences bring to the world. To have empathy for suffering and to give comfort where possible with just a smile, a kind word a touch.

But the greatest gift my father has given us is to be accepting of situations that you can't change and to adapt with grace, my father suffered a stroke in February of 2007, going on 7 years now. His life changed dramatically from being a healthy active man to depending on other people for a majority of things he did for himself.  In that time, he has never made us feel burdened, he has peacefully accepted his limitations and it is such a pleasure to spend time with him. His wit is still as sharp as ever and even though he drifts off now and again, nothing gets past him.

It is a great honor, pride and privilege to be the daughter of this man. He is not a saint but to me he is a wonderful father, we have had our moments but they only served to strengthen our relationship. My father doesn't bear grudges. He has a deep understanding of human nature and generally takes people as they are.

I hope I can give my daughter everything my parents gave me and more.

As we celebrate my father's 80th year, his life and work in the arts as an artist, educator and cultural activist, I look back proudly at what he has achieved in his lifetime and I know he has no regrets, he has lived his life exactly the way he wanted to and he achieved what he set out to achieve.


Tuesday, October 9, 2012

A BLESSING FOR PRESENCE (A gift from my spiritual retreat today that needs to be shared)


May you awaken to the mystery of being here
and enter the quiet immensity of your own presence.

May you have joy and peace in the temple of your senses.
May you receive great encouragement when new frontiers beckon

May you respond to the call of your gift and find the courage to follow its path
May the flame of anger free you from falsity

May warmth of heart keep your presence aflame and anxiety never linger about you
May your outer dignity mirror an inner dignity of soul

May you take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek no attention
May you be consoled in the secret symmetry of your soul

May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder.

A German's View on Islam - By Sebouh Z. Kizirian (worth reading)



This is by far the best explanation of the Muslim terrorist situation I have ever read. His references to past history are accurate and clear. Not long, easy to understand, and well worth the read. The author of this email is Dr. Emanuel Tanya, a well-known and well-respected psychiatrist.

A man, whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II, owned a number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism.
'Very few people were true Nazis,' he said, 'but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen.
Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories.'
We are told again and again by 'experts' and 'talking heads' that Islam is the religion of peace and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the spectre of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam.
The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave.
It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honour-kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers.
The hard, quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the 'silent majority,' is cowed and extraneous.
Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant..
China 's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.
The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet.
And who can forget Rwanda, which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'?
History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason, we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points: Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence.
Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany , they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun.
Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late.
As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts--the fanatics who threaten our way of life.
Lastly, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes this email without sending it on, is contributing to the passiveness that allows the problems to expand. So, extend yourself a bit and send this on and on and on!
Let us hope that thousands, world-wide, read this and think about it, and send it on - before it's too late.
Now Islamic prayers have been introduced into Toronto and other public schools in Ontario, and, yes, in Ottawa too while the Lord's Prayer was removed (due to being so offensive?)
The Islamic way may be peaceful for the time being in our country until the fanatics move in. And we are silent.......
Sebouh Z. Kizirian
E-mail : szkizirian@yahoo.com
Phone : 818 952-7183
Cell : 818 590-5020

Sunday, January 15, 2012

2012 A Year of Definitive Change for Nigeria

2012 has started with interesting developments in Nigeria. Developments that I am only too happy to see. I just hope that we as Nigerian citizens keep the ultimate goal in sight - rooting out corruption from government and making the perpetrators accountable - and not give up this fight, this call to salvage our great Nation, which has long been kept captive by criminals disguised as leaders.

We must keep in view that if we don't fight the system now, the rot will continue to fester and our children and grandchildren and generations to come will suffer for our neglect and the inability to stay the course. I am proud that Nigerians from every walk of life both the rich and poor are marching in peaceful demonstrations demanding that the government is accountable and transparent.

I believe 2012 will be a definitive year for Nigerians and Nigeria as a nation.

Aluta Continua!!


 

Beyond and Beneath N65 by Sonala Olumhense

IF I were a swearing man, I would have sworn that had Mr. Goodluck Jonathan ever imagined that the word “transparency” would come to Nigeria’s street lexicon, he would not have hungered for the presidency.
“I do not make empty promises in my campaign because whatever I promise to do, I had already carried out adequate study to make sure I can accomplish it in the next four years” he told the people of Nigeria in Onitsha on February 27.

The proof does not support that claim, but at the time, some Nigerians seemed to agree with Jonathan that if he, once shoeless, could “do” it, so could they.  Many said they hated his party, the People’s Democratic Party (PDP) which had historically demonstrated poor faith and form, but they followed Jonathan, swearing they were voting for the man, not the party.

Think about it: for 12 years, through his predecessors, the issue was about control of power, which is why there are two Ps in PDP.  It is only fair to assume that Jonathan calculated no differently for his four or seven years same.

He took office only on May 29, 2011, but by last week, many of his supporters were left hanging only to guilt and embarrassment.  By callously and casually eliminating the phantom subsidy on oil, Mr. Jonathan tore Pandora’s Box open to reveal a side of Nigeria he did not know to exist.  That is the one armed with the battle cry of transparency.

Let us be clear: there isn’t one Nigerian who does not believe that the subsidy, if it is genuine, should be retained.  Not one.  The issue is the amateurish and insensitive handling of it in the face of wholesale corruption, and the implications of that approach.

In a matter of days, against the background of some of Mr. Jonathan’s fiendish 2012 budget proposals, his own supporters were cursing his ancestry, ripping down his pictures and calling him the vilest of names.  Rare it is in modern political history that “popularity” can turn to loathing so quickly; Mr. Jonathan has somehow managed it in seven months.

Other factors were at play: Before the entire world, Mr. Jonathan was setting aside for himself and his family a life of luxury and opulence, while throwing his beloved people to the wolves.  He was surrounding and protecting himself with sophisticated security and armoured cars, while feeding his voters to Boko Haram.  The President himself was making it clear: this was not a government of the people; this was a government for itself, by itself and in itself.

That is why it also became quickly obvious to the ordinary man that, beyond the so-called oil subsidy, this conflict is really about the way we are, and how we became this way.  We prosper together or crumble together.

That is how, as Jonathan prepared to spend millions of Naira per day on food and gifts and toys, he found he had inadvertently educated Nigerians that the fuel subsidy is a byword for a terrible, more destructive disease: an ailment so fearsome that all the arms of the government are infected.

This ailment is responsible for an irresponsible executive that places no limits on absurdity; one with no commitment so strong it would actually implement an undertaking or a report.

This ailment is why the legislative arm of the government, established to make law, has become a law unto itself, its members arrogantly sitting not only atop Titanic salaries and allowances, but on “constituency” loot that violates the divide between the executive and the legislature.

In other words, the crisis in Nigeria is that those who rule Nigeria have lost all credibility in the eyes of the people.  It took Mr. Jonathan only seven months to make this point clear.

Mr. Jonathan is said to be a man of “good luck,” although in the past two weeks, I have heard that name shredded creatively.  If his government survives, he would have to understand that government-as-usual is over; Nigerians are insisting that the political power relationship must change so that those who rule do not expect to be served, or serve themselves.

Nigerians are asking for a true war against corruption.  The evidence before us all is that Mr. Jonathan cannot offer such a commitment because his government is corruption itself.  To begin with, Mr. Jonathan himself has refused to declare his assets, which is in many ways a confession of a dark secret.  He has also failed to define his so-called transformation agenda; he talks about that agenda all day when all he has is a concept.  An agenda, Mr. Reuben Abati would have told him in another life, has form and substance.

Take a look at his cabinet and special advisers, and the assortment of integrity-challenged personnel tells you that this is a government founded on rhetoric and hypocrisy.  The paradox of Nigeria comes down to the fact that the people who are being asked to enthrone transparency do not know what transparency is.
Mr. Jonathan claims he wants to fight corruption, but he investigates nobody, arrests nobody, prosecutes nobody.  No reports submitted to him are implemented.

This is particularly worrying when you consider his paranoia.  Unable to fulfill his promise to bring Boko Haram to its knees, he has now declared it to be present in all arms of the government and the security agencies.  Still, the President names nobody, arrests nobody, prosecutes nobody.

This confirms what some of us have been saying for a long time: there is nothing in the character or track record of Mr. Jonathan that makes him suitable to embark on the most fundamental demand Nigerians are making: the arrest of corruption.  And yet, if we do not get that, the future will be outlined and defined by greater discontent and violence.

What next?  The first thing is that the people must continue their rallies and protests, and insist that their efforts lead to substantive changes.  If they do not, not only would all the suffering and deaths of the past two weeks have been for nothing, the Jonathan government will become worse, not better.  Evil would have triumphed.
The challenge before us is that the social contract is broken and must be renegotiated.  To that extent, the Labour Movement must be clear about one thing: this is a mass protest, not a labour strike.  Labour must therefore be careful not to overestimate its role or overreach itself.  It is making a wonderful contribution, but the protests preceded Labour intervention.  Labour lacks the authority to speak for the people, some of whom are wary of a possible sell-out.

What Labour and others can help to do is help the government to understand that in 2012, the people want a government which locates its mandate in the electorate, not atop, or beyond.  They want a government which implements the rule of law, not one which sides with criminals or hides them.

As a result of all this, the Labour Movement would be making a terrible error to assume anyone can turn off the rallies if Mr. Jonathan simply reverses his subsidy policy.  If this is clear to Labour, they must work to broaden its discussion with the government to include all facets of society.

Only on such a table can the future, in terms of a meaningful peace deal be fashioned, and must include:
Defining a true offensive against corruption to include independent bodies;

Restructuring the government’s anti-corruption bodies so its principal officers are recruited using the same criteria developed by the Justice Uwais commission, through a competitive hiring process mediated by the judiciary;

An independent Ombudsman who publishes quarterly corruption-related reports and monitors public petitions;

A judiciary restructured to undertake corruption prosecutions swiftly and publicly;

A Loot Recovery Initiative for Development (LURID);

A law to protect and reward whistle-blowers;

An Office of Budget and Public Projects Review; and
Election Campaign Finance Law.

We are not going back to 2011.

Monday, November 7, 2011

"What is Democracy?"

I watched the BBC series "How Facebook Changed the World" last night and this question started nagging at me again.

What is Democracy????

Here is what Dictionary.com says about Democracy;

de·moc·ra·cy 


1. government by the people; a form of government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and
    exercised directly by them or by their elected agents under a free electoral system.
2. a state having such a form of government: The United States and Canada are democracies.
3. a state of society characterized by formal equality of rights and privileges.
4. political or social equality; democratic spirit.
5. the common people of a community as distinguished from any privileged class; the common people with
    respect to their political power.
Number one is usually the most popular definition of what a democratic state is.
Recent outcries since march of this year starting from Tunisia, then Egypt, Libya, Jordan, Yemen, Bahrain and Syria highlight what I have always suspected that democracy is a myth. 

My definition of democracy is "the acquisition of political power and wealth by a few for the oppression of the masses." It is of course not so simplistic. The oppression of the masses is as a result of the greed of this small group and their desperation to hold onto power and wealth.

I thought we had it bad in Africa, at least our leaders do not pretend to be doing anything for the good of the citizenry, neither do they use religion as a shield. Their agenda is clear - loot and continue looting until you strip the State bear of everything!!

Now the Arab states, that is a whole new level of oppression, despotism and authoritarianism. Monarchies and dynasties, the God-given right to rule. Where is the people's voice, where is the power "vested" in the people and exercised "directly" by them?

The economic crises that reached its apex in 2008 and has continued to cause huge tremors around the globe is a clear example of what democracy is not. Every single nation around the world is affected by the shenanigans of their leaders who are supposed to be protecting their interests but have instead formed an "old boys club" via which they divide the spoils. This is what leadership has evolved into in the 21st century.

Unfortunately, governments around the world can no longer hide behind their largely deceptive propagandas of good governance nor can they hide their sins within their own borders. The internet has put paid to that. Any atrocity can be broadcast in real time around the globe instantaneously. And the power is in the hands of young people and they are using this power to register their contempt and dissatisfaction for oppressive governments.
The message is clear, no leader is safe any more behind his/her ivory tower of power, wealth and military might. Qaddafi is an example of a leader who refused to believe that his time was up, the people had spoken but he didn't want to listen to what they had to say. 

We are in a new dispensation. How we navigate this road remains to be seen but it is clear that the youth - indeed every citizen around the world - are no longer content to stand by and let events unfold as they will.

The time is now, we must take our own destiny into our own hands and demand accountability from our leaders. 

Our communal resources should be equitably distributed to the benefit of every citizen.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Celebrating the female, the woman, the vessel of life....

August is women's month in South Africa, a month specially dedicated to focusing on the contributions of women, young and old. Celebrating who we are and what we have achieved in various sectors. It makes me think about the many seemingly small milestones womankind has surmounted and the long road ahead of more hurdles to be overcome, more victories to be won. But we are always hopefully and bravely trudging on.

As a woman in the 21st century, I proudly acknowledge where we are today, I have much more options than my mother, grandmother and great grandmother did. I am proud of what women have achieved today in terms of the rights that I am enjoying but I am also aware that it is a man's world and in most cases their rules apply.

Women have to work twenty times harder to gain respect and recognition in the corporate arena, even more so in the political arena where we are so few in number. And yet we actually perform better in political office, not just in terms of our work and dedication to effecting positive change but because we are fully aware of what is at stake. If we don't effect that change that will improve the lives of our constituents, it will impact on the future well being of our children and their offspring, which will definitely have a domino effect on society as a whole.

There are a lot of women that I look up to, women I know and have interacted with intimately. Women I have never met but who have had a profound impact on my life, friends, family members, my mother, my sister, my closest girlfriends. These are all women who have shaped who I am today and I pay homage to all of them.

I come from a country where the female is protected, loved, treated with dignity and respect by the males in their lives. It starts with the father who is undeniably regarded as the patriarch, the provider, the protector. My father obviously shaped and had a profound influence on my view of men. Perhaps I am speaking from a sheltered point of view but I am confident that a majority of Nigerian women will support my claim. I am of course not so naive as to claim that all women in Nigeria are equally protected and loved by their fathers or husbands but in general the culture supports the role of the male as a patriarch, protector and provider.

For me the role of the male and female are distinct but complimentary. I say this with all the power vested in me as a cosmopolitan woman of African descent born into a highly patriarchal culture. The role of any male in my life is as a protector, provider and patriarch. My husband will be treated as a king in our house because that is what he is to me, a king to my queen. He will be treated with the utmost respect and dignity because he deserves it. This is not to give the impression that I will be the docile wife waiting hand and foot on her husband like a slave. I refer to the kind of partnership where a wife supports her husband, nurtures his potential and nourishes his emotions and vice-versa. I don't know any normal man that is treated with respect, dignity and care that will not give back the same in return. It is really quite a simple recipe, avoid confrontational encounters, leave your egos aside and learn to communicate as man and wife. Hold your husband up to a higher standard in a non-abusive way, show him that you and the children look up to him and he will try to live up to those standards.

I am not a feminist, I don't believe that it is constructive to be a feminist in the 21st century, it is not a realistic approach to take certainly not in Africa. Perhaps for Western women it has worked after a fashion, in Europe and America but it is still very much a man's world even in those parts. I view myself as a realist with the positive outlook that the potential for the female to continue to grow in voice and relevance in the socio-economic and political arena is a given. I hold this view because the world continues to change and the level of accessibility for the female child keeps increasing. I can see it in the current generation of teens and pre-teens.

I am very proud to be an African woman in the 21st century, living in Africa. I salute all the female children, young and mature all around the world. I salute the resilience, doggedness and fierce protectiveness of mothers, sisters, aunts, wives the world over. I stand proud to be a woman and I would not change my gender even if I were to reincarnate in ten lifetimes.

The wind of change continues to blow and gain momentum, let us all embrace that change.

Happy Women's Month!!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

And still more water under the proverbial bridge...

June thru July has been very hectic for me at work and personally. A lot has happened, meeting new people, weighing my options here in South Africa, Nelson Mandela turning 93 on the 18th of July, a shocking bomb blast in Norway, famine in Sudan as well as a new state. The United States hanging on by the skin of its teeth in the face of an ever encroaching  and looming threat that will further plunge the country into a prolonged economic crisis. 

Closer home the labour unions are fighting wage wars  and no agreements have been reached.  At Gallery MOMO we're getting ready for Andrew Tshabangu's solo exhibition entitled Kibera Nimoja (Kibera is one) based on his observations of an informal settlement in Nairobi, Kemya. We are also preparing for Paris Photo and FRIEZE. It has been quite a good year for the gallery and for me as an arts administrator. I would really like to lean more towards academia next year and do more consulting in the arts and culture sector.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

June 16th and other matters

The month of June has seen many interesting and sad events occurring. We celebrated another anniversary of the 'Soweto Uprising' of June 16, 1976, looking at our past, present and future with a focus on our Youth. there is still so much to be done with regards to youth development in South Africa. But some progress has been made and we hope much more will be achieved in the coming years. The most important achievement in my view, would be for young people to have a feeling of self-worth, to value themselves as human beings and in doing so, extend that same regard to their fellow human beings. The most important legacy that my parents gave me, is to love myself in spite of all my faults and to believe that I can do anything, be anything. That has held me in good stead in my adult years.

Within this month of June, we have said goodbye to two great struggle icons and activists, Ma Albertina Sisulu and Professor Kader Asmal. I am honored to have been in South Africa to have heard of these two exemplary luminaries, to have known them through media reports. Their passing has left an indelible mark on me, I feel as if I knew them personally. I have the greatest admiration for what they have achieved, for their tireless work towards achieving the goals of the struggle. For never giving up on what they believed in and for their honesty and transparency. 

This month of June also saw the return of South Africa to the Venice Biennale with the opening of the South African exhibition that featured 3 South African artists; Lyndi Sales, Mary Sibande and Siemon Allen with truly inspiring artworks that speaks to the many socio-political changes (both subtle and obvious) that South Africa has gone through since attaining democratic freedom in 1994.



Tuesday, June 7, 2011

So much water under the bridge...

A lot has happened in my life since January 1 2011. We are mid-way through the year already and I feel as if I am in a runaway car going at break neck speed.

The gallery has certainly been a hub of activity. We are on our third solo exhibition. Our opening exhibition for 2011 was a fantastic feast of South African masters, George Pemba, Gerard Sekoto, Dumile Feni, Ezrom Legae, Ephraim Ngatane, Lucas Sithole and Sydney Kumalo. Following the masters was artist Sharlene Khan with the final works in her Xenophobia series marking 11 years of detailed research into the lives of immigrants from around Africa. Our next show was a solo exhibition by MOMO artist-in-residence Vitshois Bondo inspired by the political situation in Congo. Currently, we have a solo exhibition by American artist Gary Stephens entitled BRAID. A strong body of work rendered in a 3-dimensional style using strings to give an optical illusion of depth.

We also have two artists in our stable, Mary Sibande and Lyndi Sales exhibiting at the 54th Venice Biennale. That has certainly been a high point for the gallery in this first part of year 2011. The works they produced for the Biennale attests to the impressive talent of these two women. I personally look forward to watching them continue to make giant strides in the future. They are phenomenally talented!!

In the second part of the year we have some more exciting solo exhibitions from Guy Wouete, our second artist-in-residence, Andrew Tshabangu, Ayana Vellissia Jackson and Patricia Driscoll. 

We will also be exhibiting a selection of all our solo shows including the works of Lyndi Sales and Mary Sibande from the Venice Biennale. It's going to be a fantastic end to a very fruitful year!!





Friday, April 1, 2011

On retreat

This weekend I am on a spiritual journey at one of the Catholic missions in Johannesburg. I think I really need this time out to search myself and examine where I am going particularly during this Lenten season. I feel a withdrawal from the humdrum of daily life is essential to my spiritual development and growth.