Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Wise words on relationships

It has been quite a week! I am feeling sort of under the weather but coping, mostly on will power. I know I haven't been particularly prolific this week please bear with me. I thought I'd share these very wise words I came across on www.higherawareness.com. It is a very inspirational website. I would love to hear what you think.
The challenge of relationships

"It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out the next morning that it was someone else."
-- Samuel Rogers

Despite our passion for romantic love, relationships are not the easiest way to find love and peace. They are, however, one of the most effective for finding our blocks.

Relationships naturally bring out into full view our desires, attachments and unconscious programs – our likes, dislikes, belief systems, judgments, compulsions, conformities, etc. Relationships challenge us because they take us deep into thoughts, feelings and experiences we have suppressed for a lifetime. That’s why they provide the very best arena for personal growth!

“Human relationships are the perfect tool for sanding away our rough edges and getting at the core of divinity within us.”
-- Eknath Easwaran
This is a very important formula for the world of work, indeed for life in general. Relationships are the foundation of our whole lives. They dictate how we navigate through life and affect us very strongly when they go badly. Everything we do and are, depends on how we handle relationships. I find that everyday of my life I learn new things about relationships, you never have a handle on how to deal with people. That is why it is important to know how to deal with conflict, how to resolve it amicably. Most of us learn to either ignore it or be aggressive in conflict situations, making the situation worse. It is important to learn how to build good relationships. It is certainly not an easy task.

8 comments:

Thomas Blaser said...

Relationships are important but we should not be afraid of them. Sometimes we need to let things go their course. Whenever there is an issue or a problem, there is a solution. At times I feel people read too much or make too much of this or that event when dealing with people. In other words, relationships are over-dramatized. Just be, no if and when.

Anonymous said...

The journey of life is all about relationships. I have also learned that I need to let others be; they are not like me and are individuals of their own. They do not agree with me on all issues and that is alright. What a boring life it would be if we were clones of each other! Everyday, I learn something new and the most important has been to tolerate others...after all, they also tolerate me!

Ijeoma Uche-Okeke said...

Hello Thomas,
It is not always easy to simplify things in relationships, which is what I think you're saying. I agree though that it is a good approach to take for those who can manage it. It certainly makes life a little less complicated.

Ijeoma Uche-Okeke said...

Dear Anonymous,
Certainly tolerance is a very important component in relationships. Everyone should work hard at being tolerant. I try my best but relationships are always work in progress. Moving right along, I really don't feel comfortable about anonymous comments, it makes me feel that the person has a 'hidden' agenda. Particularly in a forum such as this. Please do let me know who you are next time. Thank you.

Valentin said...

Dear Ijeoma, all of us missed you a lot today during the presentation. Me especially!
With regards to relationships, I completely agree with you. I believe that relationships (and friendships and also any kinds of social bonds) teach you a lot about yourself.
You might not know who you are before you are in a relationship: you do not know what you are capable of doing for the other person; you do not know what it means to love and care about the other person; you also do not know what it means to give your life for the other person.
Essentailly, relationships teach you a lot about your relationship to life in general-what you find useful and worthy in life.
In this sense, they define and develop your values and lastly they form the direction of your thinking, actions and behaviour-in this sense, they define your goals and objetives.
Thus, a relationship is the best tool for one to get to know himself (herself). It is the route that one takes in the proess of rediscovering himself (herself).
As you've read on my blog on emotional intelligence, "knowing yourself" is a long way and it involves the ability to re-discover yourself through the interaction and communication with others. And yet a relationship is just one of the means for doing that!

Ijeoma Uche-Okeke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ijeoma Uche-Okeke said...

Valentin,
You're a very deep and insightful person. I have really enjoyed having your comments because it raises questions and motivates debates. You're quite right that it is very important to know yourself first before going into any relationship. It makes things so much easier because you're not coming from an insecure and overly needy position and you are more tolerant of your partner's weaknesses. After all none of us is perfect.

Susan Arthur said...

I agree with Valentin, we all missed you on Friday- sorry you couldn't be there!
As we were reminded, we are only as strong as our networks... this course has been valuable as it's allowed us all to form relationships with a diverse group of people. I look forward to keeping this network going!