When I embarked on this journey of "motherhood", I really had no idea what I was getting into or what I was doing. I was sort of swept away on the tide of something that has fundamentally changed my life. The things that used to be so important to me no longer seem to be that important. I am a very independent individual, not in a way that pushes people away because I was brought up in a society and particularly an environment that valued community and looking out for each other (sad that this is not so much the case now). I am also learning some interesting things about myself.
As a mother, the well-being of your child/children is so dependent on your well-being. If you are not at peace within yourself this affects your child/children deeply, if you are at peace with yourself your child/children bloom like wild flowers under the umbrella of your mental and physical well-being. That is a major lesson that I am learning. You must put aside your own issues to be able to create a safe and loving environment for your child/children, it's as simple and as complex as that. But the wonderful thing is that when you do put your child's/children's needs before yours it helps you deal with issues better because your focus is not on yourself but on what you need to do to ensure that the safe and loving environment you've built for your child/children is sustained.
Here I am job hunting but I am more relaxed than I have been since the beginning of the year. I have time to be with my daughter, to spend quality time with her and I can see her blossoming under my undivided attention. And it gives me such a sense of joy and accomplishment, lately I am actually beginning to feel like a mother. It is the best feeling in the world, it really is. My daughter is such an interesting character and I am enjoying getting to know her more every day. She is her own person, she's loving, funny, stubborn, sweet, kind and caring. I think she's a natural leader and I can't wait to see what she grows up to be.
I know, I know... every parent can wax lyrical about their offspring for hours on end. Okay maybe not every parent but a majority of them.
I've strapped on my seat belt for the ride of my life and so far it's going well. Fingers crossed that the teen years will be a blast????
I hope so!!